Just before you go…

Moon’s up Travellers,

 

Gobsmacked. I love that word. This is a moment that deserves the word gobsmacked…Maybe if you aren’t a paticularly emotional human, this will all seem like an dramatic exaggeration but still, it happened just as I’m about to describe…

To begin with, I had had a Thursday. The kind of day where you are convinced that you have failed at life. Not because you don’t have a job or a home or a family, but failed because you could have done it better. In a more soul satisfying way. You should have found your purpose. At a younger age. I was battling the feeling like I’m too late, too late to start building something anew. And that’s really the jump off point…

Have you had one of these days? Because I have to believe that an ALWAYS completely content human does not truly exist. Because after all, isn’t discontentment what drives our progress in life? And don’t we all wonder more often than not, what is the purpose of our lives?

I went to bed discouraged and sad and beaten up by my own self.

Friday morning, July 27th, I awoke to the world and gathered myself up and carried on my morning as usual. Since the sun always comes up for us, I feel like we owe it the same in return, don’t we?

And, THEN IT HAPPENED… ready? (YOU MUST PLAY THE SONG!)

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I was walking out to the trash dumpster like any other morning and I causally looked to my left and there was a tiny cat over there. I looked again, twice at least, and realized the pussy cat coming toward me was MOPSY!! (FYI I’m not one of those people who carry their phone on their person 24/7, I actually went inside and got my phone to commemorate this experience, so the above was taken minutes later.)

MOPSY, my muse, my friend, my family from afar.

I’m wasn’t exaggerating when I say I dropped to my knees and started to cry because I couldn’t believe my eyes. Truth be told, I actually thought I was hallucinating for the first few minutes because well, it’s been 10 MONTHS since she disappeared. 10 MONTHS since we searched everywhere for her. 10 MONTHS since I resigned myself to her fate. AND NOW SHE WAS HERE!! HERE WITH ME!! It was just like one of those stories you hear about long lost pets returning, only she was my long lost guest kitty! And I was beside myself.

Where did she come from? I wasn’t sure, but she was wearing a collar with a tag from the local shelter. Was she visiting me from afar or had her owners retrieved her from wherever she had disappeared to?

10 MONTHS PEOPLE!!

It felt like she was saying hello hello hello and I’m here to see you, to let you know I’m alright…maybe that’s reaching but that was how it felt. I let her inside, she wandered thru the house inspecting everything with her eyes and nose. It was like dejavu, only not.  I’m pretty sure she could smell Faline and Charlie, who were already behind the closed doors of another room eating their food. She went in and out of the house for nearly an hour and then reappeared again on the front porch. It seemed like she was trying to place this memory: me, the house, the contents of the house, but it wasn’t exactly as she remembered.

Here’s the kind of human I am, I actually spent the morning hanging out with her, because SHE WAS HERE and I wasn’t sure for how long…and if being visited by my long lost guest kitty who seemingly returned from the dead doesn’t seem like a qualifier for sick time, then I don’t know what does?!

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So, we sat on the front porch for a spell. And then she was gone…

 

 

I’m not going to tell you to watch a movie about a cat coming back from the dead.  I’m going to leave you with this: When I was young, 16 to be exact, one of my best friends died in a foreign country under suspicious circumstances. She was fearless and honest. Direct and true to her word. She would have become someone in our world. I was gutted. I remember seeing her embalmed body, giving her eulogy  and her boyfriend walking into the funeral home. He fell to his knees when he saw her. He started shaking and crying. We were kids and death should have no business with youth.

I remember seeing Ghost for the first time not long after her death. All the romance and sexy pottery wheels aside, I feel like the film explores the thing we all feel when faced with irreconcilable loss: we all want to see those that were dear to us one more time, we want to know they are alright and we want to believe some part of them is always with us…

To be continued…

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Just before you go…

  1. Lindy Lizenbery

    Amy, This is great! Reading it brought tears to my eyes and made my heart happy. In my opinion, you need to keep writing. Lindy

    Like

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