ENOUGH

Good afternoon Travellers,

Did you think I wasn’t going to show up today?

Nope, I will always be here. I am keeping this promise to myself, but thanks to the interested parties who inquired to my whereabouts this morning…

Unfortunately due to the weather, I had a number of heat sensitive tasks I had to tend to early this morning: taking the long Sunday walk with the ladies, mowing my massive yard, gardening, kettle bell work out and then some indoor domestic activities as well, like cleaning my greens, litter boxes, and Starbuck, my Betta, was due for a tank cleaning as well. Believe it or not, I’m actually always grateful for these chores, because it means I have a home, dogs & pussy cats I love so much, and a body that works well and eats well. And Starbucks is pretty awesome too!

So, here we are, Sunday…which I find to be the most peculiar of days during the week, because it can either be seen as the end of a week OR the beginning of your next week. I feel like you can choose either one, but it almost seems like a stand alone for me. It’s like the layover station between weeks. Additionally, I always tend to see Sunday as God’s Day, not as in Christian/Catholic God because I am neither, but more just all the Gods’ Day. No matter your faith, there is, at least for me, something different in a Sunday. I would swear that time stands still or slows down on this day because even with it being 4:15 in the afternoon right now, I know the stretch between here and the moon showing its face will be further than any other day. And I love that weirdness.

About two weeks ago, I decided that I would use Sunday as a day to have and be enough. As a practice if you will, the idea of needing nothing else for one day. And being content. And I’m not talking about just the material world here because I think when you say, “I have enough” the natural thought is that person means money, possessions, house, and then maybe family. And while I do mean that, what I really want to talk about is being enough inside yourself. For yourself.

I know you’re thinking that’s a lot of Oprah goop, but give me a minute…how often do you feel you are lacking? Maybe you feel like you are not smart enough, fit enough, thin enough, healthy enough, accepting enough, direct enough, persistent enough, hard working enough, focused enough, learning enough, adventurous enough, strong enough, sexy enough, original enough, stable enough, communicating enough, attractive enough, forgiving enough, caring enough, kind enough, ambitious enough, brave enough, humble enough, vulnerable enough, tough enough, man enough, creating enough, trying new things enough, maternal enough, exercising enough, paternal enough, good enough, sensitive enough, calm enough, at peace enough, value yourself enough, interesting enough, unique enough, in control enough, loving enough, or even here in this and every moment enough.

Did I miss anything?

Everyday I think every human internally berates themselves. Some days are worse then others. Our perceived lack of all those internal ENOUGHS I dare say drive many of our other behaviors. We look for and find ways to fill the holes and not to the point of remedy. I think sometimes we are all running from ourselves, that’s what I’ve learned most from my divorce. I have used relationships throughout my life to avoid the issue of not being enough for myself. I substituted someone else’s love and approval for my own. Because working with yourself is at times the most difficult choice of dance partners, yet we are traveling more intimately with ourselves thru this life than anyone else.

For me, Sunday is the day I’m enough. Because I think all change starts with one step, one day in this case. One day where I’m not mean to myself. One day where I think only about the good things inside me.

I don’t go to church, but I always wonder on Sundays how many people sit in the pews and are enough. As in, they are not there asking God for anything, but instead saying my life is enough. I have many blessings and I am grateful. I am grateful for the gift of myself. Too bad I’m not a mind reader.

I guess I’m saying try to give yourself one day where you are ENOUGH and see what that grows in your life. Be forewarned it’s not easy, but it is peaceful. And shouldn’t we all be peaceful on God’s Day?

OH, I have a treat for you. This is Rhye, and its an entire live concert. In an empty Charles de Gaulle airport no less. If you don’t know who they are, think Sade as a man, and there’s a sort of tropical breeze feeling to me with their sound, it’s PERFECT for Sundays. Ok, it’s actually perfect all the time, but ESPECIALLY on Sundays….Enjoy!!

 

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