A rooster & the fog on a fine Friday

Well, you made it to Friday Travellers,

This morning was the most fantastically odd walk. Walking as the world wakes up, it feels like not only do we roll from bed stumbling in slumber, but so does the world itself. There was a thick blanket of fog covering the grounds where we walk that sort of glowed with the sunrise. And on top of that, a rooster crowing, IN THE MIDDLE OF A CITY!! I’ve never hear him before this morning, and the sound seemed to be coming from an adjacent neighborhood. It was just such an unlikely combination of ingredients, what a lovely start to this day…

I also realized this morning that today marks one month since I got divorced, to the day in fact, just randomly realized that on the way home…tempus Fugit my fellow travellers…

Today is most importantly Leni Lou Lou Day!! Not a national holiday I realize, but a day I celebrate no less. I’m a big believer in personal holidays. I think it’s important to mark days to honor what is meaningful and important in our lives regardless of who else knows. Or just a holiday to remember to have fun. We should all celebrate what is meaningful to our individual lives, shouldn’t we?

Leni was our dog, my first as a so called adult, and she was my heart. As I’ve been writing here on this blog, memories that I have long forgotten seem to be spontaneously unearthing themselves. Like the night I first met Leni…I believe the first thing I said when I saw her was she looks wild, like maybe she was part coyote. She was squirmy and skittish. I remember my would become husband had her in a cardboard box in the shop at his work. He was feeding her crappy sandwich meat for food because that was what he had on hand. His co-worker had found her under one of their vehicles down near the train tracks. She was tiny, dirty and completely alone.

After some deliberation, he brought her home to his house and she lived in his breezeway. To say her first year with us was tumultuous would be an understatement. This poor girl had arrived into our lives and we had no idea what to do with her…but she could not have been cuter if she tried…

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JUST LOOK AT HER!!…that carpet she’s sitting on in this photo, yea, she ate that…I’m actually pretty sure he never forgave either of us for her path of destruction she tore through that room. Eventually she would take up part time residence in my step father’s shop and create a similar sort of havoc.

I remember when I took her to my vet, he said she was feral. She was eight weeks old. Probably a Shepard Husky mix and he was fairly certain there was no coyote in sight. What he said to me that day has stayed with me all these years. He told me that if I took her she would be mine as in if I changed my mind and took her to the shelter she wouldn’t make it because he didn’t think she would ever bond to a person. He said she may never behave like a normal dog, she may never really attach to me either. Because she was abandoned and probably hadn’t had any human contact, she had never learned how dogs and people fit together.

Flash forward about a year, we get married and Leni learns what a kennel is. Oddly while most dogs loathe the kennel, she didn’t. It was her safe spot, she would voluntarily lay in hers so often we left the door open. It was her little den and it stood here in my house in the exact same spot until about a month ago when I finally took it to the garage.

Leni had some issues, as most abandoned souls do. Let’s just face it,  we all do. Anxiety and fear of other people besides us being her big ones. She had never been weened so she suckled on stuffed animals like they were her mom, which we both found completely disarming. She was smart as hell, and she did bond to us. She was just like any other dog as time went on. She was abit bossy truth be told, and it came on, in fits of growling and crazy that would pass as fast as they arrived. And Woody, our Airedale, took it on the chin like a champ. They were buddies all their days together.

Woody would leave us after 13 years on Earth, and Ramona arrived. Ramona is happiest dog you cold ever meet and had the common sense to submit to Leni’s dominant nonsense without reservation. They became fast friends…

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This is them.  Leni all concerned and Ramona is like,” It’s gonna be AWESOME!..” As I look at this, good grief, I loved her…love her still.

On the Fourth of July, five years ago, I knew something was wrong. There was this horrible poop, I know poop again right, but Leni produced the most unnatural colored poo I’d ever seen…I called the vet and they thought it could be the stress of the holiday, but it wasn’t. Then there was an X-ray, followed by a sonogram. It was cancer. And I was helpless to help her. I had promised her that I would take care of her and not let anything bad happen to her. And life made me a liar and broke my heart.

We had two choices, we could leave her on the table just then and she would never wake from the sonogram OR we could take her home for 3 days and love her. Gently love her, so as not to rupture anything. So that’s what we did…and it was hard. Actually way past hard, but at the same time, we got to be with her knowing what was to come. Stealing the last of time we could have together.

And then that window closed…

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I took this right before we went inside to her appointment. When she was a puppy, she rode so often in cars with us, she was the best car riding dog. EVER. She just sat in the seat like a human. She also liked to have us hold her paw from time to time, which I’ll never forget…

If you’ve ever made this choice, you know what it is to stay with them as they leave. Because they would stay with you until the end if they could…she went easy and my vet said, as she was closing her eyes what a good dog she became and that it had been an honor. And it was and still is.

As I was driving away, this song was playing and whenever I hear it, I think of her. I think of her often and not just today. I think of everything I learned from my brief seven years with her. I hope we meet again someday, in this life or the next, or whatever it is…but for now, I celebrate how very lucky we were to have found each other in this world..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “A rooster & the fog on a fine Friday

  1. Penny McCoy

    I remember the day Leni left you guys – I cried too. After reading todays post, a tear came to my eye. Probably because I think of the day I will have to say goodbye to my Eddie!

    Like

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