Everything will be Alright

Buenas tardes Travellers,

I’d like to interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday afternoon with a little conversation but first, let’s start with THIS…(yes, yes you should listen, it’s inspiring. Maybe not your cup of tea, but the words are JUST SO ohhhhh…)

I’m abit late to the fandom of Passenger, but I found this yesterday, actually I found a live concert at the House of Blues, because at work I listen to YouTube while I whittle the day away, and this was the second to last song in his set…it felt like he was singing to me…It felt so timely to my life right now…the words…

So sing, sing at the top of your voice

Can you love without fear in your heart

Feel, feel like you still have a choice…

Cause if we all light up we can scare away the dark….

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I decided based off yesterday’s little ditty about beliefs, that I would try to create a new belief inside of myself by repeating throughout the day both silently to myself and out loud, “Everything is going to be alright.” Because I think it’s easy to self-analyze and say, hey, here’s the problem, but then you have to do something about it. That’s the really hard part…choosing to pursue the remedy with all the determination you can muster. And I don’t just mean today, I mean putting that phrase into a repetitious loop for as far as the eye can see. Hopefully it will take root and blossom that way.

If I’m being honest, I’ve spent most of my life believing that optimism aligned very closely to naivety. I felt like it was sort of like wearing blinders and only seeing the world as you wanted to see it. It wasn’t honest. Optimism meant ignoring the darker side of human nature. Leaving you vulnerable to deception and pain. Why? Because I was raised by a so called optimistic person and I can honestly say, it wasn’t optimism, it was shop lifting optimism to justify her choices. I know that sounds harsh, but think about all the justifications/excuses we make in our lives in the name of __________ (fill in the blank.) She would use the word “optimism” instead of what I suspected was just seeing what she wanted to see. Do you know what I mean?

I’ve recently realized that true optimism requires some kind of vulnerability that I am still working to cultivate. Believe me, I don’t have all the answers, but I’m here to Magellan the shit out of this life. I feel like the spirit of Mopsy, who is the namesake of my blog, is being brave. Diving into yourself. Surviving yourself. Learning you can confidently depend on yourself in a very real way. Because we all, in the end, only have ourselves. I think if we all worked more on that, which is maybe the most difficult thing to do in this life, I think it could change the world…

There’s a line in this song about how we’re all slowly dying in front of computer screens, so the irony of me coming here to work thru myself is not lost, BUT I’ve always believed the internet is well, like everything else, it’s all about intention. It’s THE FORCE, you can wield it like Skywalker or you can be under it’s darker thrall like Darth Vader. I’m definitely here as the former, no matter how beguiling Vader was to me as a little girl. Which is weird I know…but Luke whined all the time, come on you know you felt the same way….

For me, this a place where I can suspend my words to examine them, hold them up to the light. I can document this journey and learn. I can be so honest and lean into a more vulnerable self, and say all the things that I feel and wish I could say in real life. I think that’s the most intriguing piece to me of the internet, it COULD be a place where we can all learn and talk without any of our physical baggage. It could be this honest all the time. Instead it’s become a veneer for most people where they can craft the life they want everyone to believe they are living. It’s very look at shiny me. It’s a place where hate has taken root, gardened by the trolls who I suspect live itching uncomfortably in their own skin.

SO what do the words, “Everything is going to be alright” mean to me, because belief does require meaning, doesn’t it?  For me, it means, I can learn to trust myself again and believe that I can find my way in the dark. I can have faith that doing the right thing just because it’s right still counts in this world. I’m a survivor and I can handle this life no matter what comes. I can learn to count on myself. I can show up.

But I have to learn to believe those things…

I think understanding that the meaning of “alright” is fluid based on the situation is important. It doesn’t translate into happily ever after or always getting what you want, which is always abit sad isn’t it? Because I think we are all enchanted with the idea that we should have everything we want in this world. Which is funny because I’m not even sure we even know what the fuck that is most of the time…

And of course, I thought of Bob Marley’s SONG…because I would have to be dead inside not to…

…but back to the lyrics at the top, it’s the thing about believing my life is still full of choices, and that it’s not over. That no matter what badness befalls my little life, somehow I will still have choices…that’s what I’m working on, happy Saturday to you!!

 

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