Just before I sleep…

Good evening Travellers,

I wanna try a little free form, short form, valid thought before I go to bed in a few…some nights my mind is buzzing, do you ever have that? And it feels like I wanna say somethings but there’s no one hear to tell. Maybe breaking the fourth wall?

just an uncensored thought or two, then I’m gonna go…

I was watching “Mrs. Maisel’s” new season tonight, and you should be too, I know I really like show because there are some parallels to my own life. It’s like a fictional life vest for my soul. Mostly, it’s the fact that everything is changing around me. Like her, but different and yet the same. And that’s why we make art and participate in it as well…

My house got a new heart today, isn’t a furnace the heart of a home? I have an alien in my basement. An unfamiliar artifact. The actual physical state of my home changed, which may sound dramatic, but I find myself sensitive to things that don’t cause any shift for others. 12 years the same. Most off this house has not changed in the time of my occupancy. Every creature in my house seems exhausted from the chaos of this day. Now my home doesn’t have the same sounds, in the dark, my ears fill with strange new sounds. Strange new brave world.

My whole marriage very little changed and now, now we have begun…Now divorced, now facing all the fears here on my own. And I realized, just tonight, I really realized, do you know what I mean, really realizing? Like the weight has shifted in reality…I realized if you want something new in this world, you’re going to have to give it something in return. If you want to chase a dream, pursue a new path, let your soul lead you, find a new love or home, you’re gonna have to give. And the giving will be uncomfortable, maybe unbearable at times and exciting in equal measure. Fear and wonder are riding shotgun in my gut.

And you have to work really f*cking hard for what you want…And face it, things won’t just come to us, will they?

AND Alanis Morrisette is back, did you know? I didn’t have Fascinating Friday today, but I wanna make sure you’ve heard THIS and there’s a Broadway play written by Diablo Cody around Jagged Little Pill. If you are under 30, you need to listen to that album. And THIS ONE OFF she did for a movie, live in particular. It’s transcendent.

And BABY YODA….haven’t seen the show, but good grief that little dude is obscenely cute, isn’t’ he? Cuteness always finds a way, doesn’t it?

That’s all…

V.A.C. Day 5- One word: GREEN

And I’m back Travellers,

Due to my previously mentioned wobbling, I missed a day here and I owe you another tiny little door, don’t I? Because if this was an actual Advent Calendar and you forgot a day, you’d open a second door today wouldn’t you? It’s like eating a second cookie or piece of wedding cake when no one is watching…

Behind the little door today, is a picture of a blooming Christmas cactus…in case you are unfamiliar with that plant, here are some images of mine…

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V.A.C. Day 4- Having a truly silent night

Good morning Travellers,

Last Sunday night my furnace lost consciousness, and on Monday a miraculous resuscitation was performed. BUT today, I am experiencing my greatest home owner fear fully realized. Because it was not a lasting fix, and the time has arrived for the little guy to go to the big graveyard in the sky for all the appliances we’ve loved and lost. So as I sit here typing this morning, my 22 year old furnace and 16 year old air conditioning system are being replaced. Very loudly replaced. It sounds like my house is being torn out from underneath me and then hammered back together.

And I’ve just been told I need to get my ducts cleaned as well because it apparently looks like no one has ever cleaned them before, which is another couple hundred dollars on top of the five grand I’m down with the system replacement.

Merry Christmas, Happiest Holidays!! Am I right?

I’m just sharing this story for a little perspective for all of you. I just want to let you know while I come here and write about all the wonders to be found in the season and life in general, I’m also struggling my ass off right alongside you. I’m trying REALLY HARD to not let the possible joy of this first Christmas on my own get smothered by rather the unfortunate occurrences and sentiments of life. And that’s a struggle too. Happiness is not at journey’s end, it’s a choice of how you see this world. I remind myself of that everyday. Likewise, the holidays are not a destination, but a choice of how you experience them as well. And that’s something we have to cultivate, isn’t it?

Today our little door opens to a square of darkness with a little crescent moon shining in the center, which represent silence and serenity. A true real life silent night.  I’m going to ask you to consider the value of taking an evening, possibly this evening or AT LEAST ONE EVENING in the days PRIOR TO CHRISTMAS in active silence.

The goal of this activity is to create a quiet and still environment in your home for one evening. The larger your clan, the greater the masterminding required. And possibly an even greater reward. This means no TV, no phones, no internet abled devices, no talking, no music, no sounds other than everyone breathing. It’s called serenity.

Continue reading “V.A.C. Day 4- Having a truly silent night”

Virtual Advent Calendar, Day 3- Nobody like a Dirty Belly Button

Happy Wednesday Travellers,

Behind todays little door would be a tiny little drawing of you in a bath wearing gloves…A bit odd I realize, but allow me to explain…

One of things I think is really important when you find yourself in a stressful period of life is self care. Simple acts of self care help lift our spirits versus neglecting your body when you already are down in the holiday dumps will only make matters worse. And showing yourself some love I think tends to help with whatever unpleasant feelings have arrived at your door this holiday season. Because no matter the thoughts and emotions you may be experiencing, they are just guests in the house of your soul. Whereas, your body is your forever vehicle in this life.

Continue reading “Virtual Advent Calendar, Day 3- Nobody like a Dirty Belly Button”

Virtual Advent Calendar Day 2- Put it in writing

Good morning Travellers,

Behind the little door for day #2 would be a tiny little drawing of you writing in a card. What kind of cards you ask? Holiday greeting cards…WAIT, don’t leave, hear me out..

It feels to me like our human world is slowly being stripped of all it’s tactile experiences in favor of digital ones. For example, I know the art of penmanship is something of the days of yore and people choose emails and texting as their primary  form of “written”communication. CDs, cassette tapes, and vinyl records, have largely been replaced by ITunes or downloads. We shop online without touching the clothes before we buy them or talking to other people in a shop. We forgo movie theaters to sit on our own couches at home and watch movies. Even DVD rentals are falling under the tires of streaming service giants. We are literally losing our sense of touch & decreasing our real life human interaction. What becomes of humans who no longer touch anything but flat screens?! What becomes of us when we no longer interact in a three dimensional world?

Today, after work or whatever errands your days requires, I’d like you to go to anywhere that sells boxed greeting cards and find your favorite ones and buy a box. I think my box of 16 cards cost $7 plus tax. They came from Target. Then you’ll also need stamps. You remember stamps? We used to have to lick those things…again, a change in our tactile experiences.

Option #2 is making your own cards, if that’s on your menu, do that instead. The messenger isn’t as important as the message here.

Now make a list of the people who you really appreciate in your life this year. We’re not sending obligation cards to your aunt you never see, or form letters. These are for people sitting front row to your life, not the high balcony spectators. And you don’t need to feel guilt for anyone not being on your list, this isn’t a contest, this is about sharing your sincerest appreciation and gratitude. AND lastly, set one card off to the side…

I have tell you  that I have received cards/letters over the years of my life that I’ve saved simply for the words someone sent just for me. It’s preserved kindness, and there is an energy in penning letters versus typing them on a keyboard. When you hold writing from another person in your hands, it’s a kind of magic, someone touched this and wrote this…and the words are there for all of time, just for you to see whenever you like…

For each person on your list, write a very specific message of why you appreciate them and their presence in your life. Give it some real thought, use as many words as you need to, take your time, maybe do 3-4 cards an evening, it’s only the 3rd of December!! But do mail them by the 12th…

I think this time of year can really cause people to reflect more on what they don’t have versus what we do have. I spent a great deal of time agonizing on Christmases for the family I didn’t have or the overwhelming sadness I felt. Worrying about gifts, buying and receiving in somewhat equal measure. In truth, it’s quite possible that the best gifts we have in our lives are each other. When I look at my four fur kids each day I think there’s nothing money could buy that’s better than them. And yea, I adopted them so technically they were a purchase, but really I see that more like adopting a child. Children & fur kids are not things or possessions, they are fellow Travellers.

I think looking outside ourselves for the blessings in our life is HUGE for our overall health. I think taking time for others is also good for us. Your mental health and physical health are so very deeply intertwined and it’s important to take care of both during the holidays. And oddly, I find that expressing kind words to other people makes you feel good inside too. I think humans were actually meant to be a kinder species than our current form, don’t you? Which brings me to that card you set aside…

I’ve never actually done this before and I’m not one of those hippy hippy love yourself gurus, BUT I think it behooves us to show ourselves some gratitude as well. SO, inside that last card, write a note to yourself, whatever you want, BUT it has to be kind and full of gratitude. Something you’ve done for yourself this year that made a HUGE difference in your life. EVEN IF IT’S ONLY ONE THING. TRUST ME, YOU’VE DONE AT LEAST ONE GOOD THING FOR YOURSELF THIS YEAR….write it down and then read it out loud to yourself, put it in it’s envelope and pack it away in your Christmas decorations. Over the course of a year, you’re going to forget that note just like I forget certain cute ornaments and next year, you’ll find it again… I think that written words preserve time in a way unlike any other art from. And the hardest lesson I’m still working on learning is to get on my own team. All of life changes but we will always be with ourselves…

Happy writing Travellers…and how about this morning’s sunrise with a Christmas tune

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The virtual Advent Calendar DAY 1- Create your own Norman Rockwell

Good morning Travellers-

Welcome to your virtual Advent Calendar for December 2019!!! Each day of this month I will be offering an idea for you to not just survive the holidays, but hopefully THRIVE during this month.  Obviously unlike normal advent calendars, we are beginning on the 2nd AND will continue ALL THE WAY to New Years Eve!!! Because I’m weird and insist on always doing things the difficult way…and I ask you, why not do 30 days instead of 25?

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Fascinating Fridays 2nd Edition

Good evening Travellers,

I see you have survived not one, but two rather stressful days in the holiday season, Thanksgiving AND Black Friday. I’m not a participant in the latter, just goes against certain principles in my life, namely living intentionally and not collecting stuff. I also however do not have a large family that requires gift exchanging and if we are being honest, my rather finicky/discerning tastes tend to rarely be enticed by all the “DEALS”. I’m a girl who knows what she wants, which can be good or bad depending on the situation.

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A single turkey walks into a bar…

Good morning Travellers,

We have arrived at the first major milestone holiday for me as a single girl. Okay, technically my birthday was the first, but this in America is a BIG one. Or not. It’s come to my attention in the past few years that many people do not really celebrate this day beyond a simple acknowledgement. And while I’m certain some patriots consider that blasphemy, I find it comforting. Not just now as a single person whose family is far away, but because I think each of our lives is our own and why should anyone dictate what our days mean to us.

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Damn, it’s blooming…

Buenas Tardes Travellers,

Last Friday afternoon at work, I noticed something most delightfully unexpected…Wait, let’s back that up…If you will recall, I had a glorious outdoor table garden this summer. Veggies, strawberries, tomatoes, flowers, cacti and one little survivor of a blueberry bush. That little guy was an act of serious faith when I repotted him in April. He appeared to be near dead, all brown sticks, no signs of returning life, but I thought why not try…and he grew so big. SO BIG, like five pant sizes.

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“S” is for SO many words, an Hourglass, the Sea & a Dinosaur

Happy Monday Travellers,

How’s life treating you on this fine Monday? AND, How have you been treating your life?…Myself, I awoke to bliss this morning, otherwise known as a purring cat tucked under one arm and swathed in flannel sheets. Is there anything better then being tucked away in a warm cozy bed in a cold room? I think not.

Continue reading ““S” is for SO many words, an Hourglass, the Sea & a Dinosaur”