A few Friday musings on marriage, metamorphosis, worms and money

It’s Friday Travellers,

And I have a lot of thoughts, maybe get a cup of tea for this…

I’ve been trying to add up the number in my mind of women whom I have met since my divorce, who are also divorced, and have quite emphatically told me that they’ve never been happier than well, being on their own. Happily divorced. SO HAPPY. Not fake happy, like glowy. And all ages, not just mid-life or late in life, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, I mean I bet it’s been near a dozen women now…some random strangers, almost like the universe is speaking to me…it just happened again last night.

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Refraction

Good morning Travellers,

Fall is so close now. This morning it was 57 degrees when we left the house on our little walk about. It’s the kind of temperature where if you move quickly enough your body warms and it’s very refreshing. I think there’s a lot to be said for going out into the open world after being closed up in your house all night.

Have I said that before?

For the past two mornings, the skies have been mostly blue. Today there was a small drifting bank of clouds that at first appeared pale gray, but as the sun rose and the light hit them they developed a purplish candy coating on their underbellies. And I started thinking about refraction. Do you remember that from science as a kid? How light changes as it hits different areas of density AKA all the gorgeous skies I’ve seen have had some clouds. It’s the water in the air that makes the magic isn’t it? Which I think is still quite wondrous, explanations don’t always steal the magic, the trick is still amazing even if you know how it’s accomplished. Because nature remains the greatest showman of all.

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Swim

It’s abit later than I like to arrive here Travellers,

I’m not making the 5am rise with any kind of grace yet. I say yet, because I keep setting the alarm for 5:07am, but I find I don’t really wake up until after 5:30am. I’m reminded how discouraging it is for us all to change which is why we don’t, isn’t it? Why is so fucking hard to change these behaviors? Or maybe it’s just me…that’s where my head has been the last two days, it’s me…

I’ve been trying to sort out an analogy of how I feel inside lately. At my last therapy appointment, we were  peripherally discussing socializing and I told I’m not fully baked for that yet. I’m not ready. I don’t want anyone in that space because I just can’t while I’m like this..this as in trying to grow by myself.

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